The advantages of accuracy

so I purchased this Nike+ system back in in June after I read a couple of posts by Deyl and DJ about their Nike+ experiences. It was this same experience that got me blogging more regularly, so thanks guys!

Well, I've been running with Nike+ for a few months and have just been depressed at my performance. I was a runner in high school and college so running 9 and 10 minute miles was just a downer. then I thought, "hey you should probably calibrate this thing." what a difference. The distance was off about 10% so I was running farther and faster than it was reporting. Since then I put in 7:37 mile and a 24:45 5k. nothing stunning...my glory days pr's for those distances are 4:45 mile and 17:31 5K. still nothing to write home about, but when I thought I was having trouble running fast than a 9 minute mile I wanted to cry.

Anyway, that's all better now and I've been so encouraged with my last two runs now that everythings accurate.

The Servant Heart and the Selfish Nature

"Love has a hem to her garment. It reaches the very dust. I wipes the stains from the streets and lanes. And because it can, it must."

-Mother Teresa

One winter afternoon when I was in high school, I was washing my hands in the school bathroom. The girl at the sink next to me was washing blood off her forearm. She had carved the word "hate" into her flesh. I was deeply disturbed by this experience. I could feel the depth of the girls pain and I wanted help - I wanted to heal. I didn't know how. So, in my little teenage mind, I contrived a plan to be her unsolicited Secret Santa. I figured that even a small expression of kindness from a stranger might help. So, for weeks, I left little gifts for this girl with our PE teacher. I was eagerly awaiting the day I would reveal myself and hopefully offer this stranger some comfort.

My PE teacher and I had a mentoring relationship, and she was concerned about my feelings being hurt in the end of this experiment. One day, my teacher pulled me aside and said, "Erin, what you are doing is very sweet, and I am worried that it is not being appreciated. She does not look like she cares when I give her your little gifts. I don't think you should give them to her anymore." And, so I stopped. The feeling of regret that resulted has never left me.

I was not being kind for appreciation, recognition, or acknowledgement. But I was not confident enough in my convictions at the time to continue to do what I knew was right. My teacher meant no harm. She was protecting my heart.

As a social worker now, I am trained to help and heal. I feel it is my calling. And to this day, I am still astonished by the animosity a servant heart stirs in others. For some, it is merely something they cannot understand - doing something kind for someone without appreciation and the risk of being hurt. For others, it provokes an attack. A bludgeoning of "you don't need to do that" and "you're wasting time," and the underlying "you're making me look bad!" My back bone is strengthening as I learn that others do not think and live as I do, and I need to do what I know is right. Who would have thought that kindness would rock the boat. Here's to rocking the boat!